I Don’t Give a Sh*t, Do U?

Give A Sh*t: Do Good, Live Better, Save the Planet – Ashlee Piper (Running Press)

The signs were all there.

I really should have seen them.

The cover blurb from pasty musician Moby should have tipped me off.

The back-cover blurb from militant PETA founder Ingrid Newkirk should have sounded the alarms.

Darn it, the author choosing to self-describe as “eco-lifestyle journalist” should have been like waving a red sheet in front of a raging bull.

In all honesty, I missed them and delved into Give A Sh*t: Do Good, Live Better, Save the Planet by Ashlee (yep two Es) Piper. Dear God, just reading this stuff gives me a headache. Ms. Piper is someone who thinks that if you choose to live your life in a way different from hers, then you clearly don’t give a shit about the planet or people around you. What a load of holier than thou horse shit! Sorry but anyone who feels the need to use the ridiculous progressive phrase about being “woke” will get a resounding and not polite response of fuck you from me…sorry but I guess I see that as a microaggression…insert Smiley Face Here.

Ms. Piper offers her invaluable guidance on how to have an “ethical” wardrobe; sorry if a lean towards comfortable. She also dishes up some veg-head advice on how to whip up some “super-simple” (not just simple, super-simple) recipes from 15 ingredients or less! I can hardly wait to grab my hemp grocery bags and truck on down to the local Whole Foods and hump back with my 15 ingredients strapped to my back.

I couldn’t help but wonder if Ms. Piper consumes only tofu that is made from ethically sourced soy beans? Is she aware of exactly how her tofu is made? It must take a massive amount of water to soak the beans in preparation for the conversion to soy bean curd, not mention what is the source of the electricity that is used to run the conveyors, grinders and crushers to mash the soaked beans. Now let’s talk about the power needed to create the steam to cook the beans down to curds. The process to create the curds calls for adding magnesium chloride to the paste, to help with coagulation; does Ms. Piper know if the elements of that chemical compound are ethically mined? Are they mined from locations close to the tofu plant, sort of like farm to table only in this case ground to factory. Now we need to add yet more water in the pressing stage and more power for the cutting and packing, and who knows where the plastic packaging is coming from! Next the tofu is heat pasteurized…more water, more steam, more power. From that process the packaged tofu goes into a chilled vat of…you guessed it, more water! To me this whole tofu things seems a bit selfish and not at all eco-friendly. Maybe Ms. Piper should consider churning her own soy beans and hydrating with her own purified urine, which would add some kick to that recipe for Jamocha Silk Pie.

Not surprisingly, Ms. Piper, like most eco wingnuts seems more concerned about shelter dogs and Bessie the cow than she does about “littles”, her term for children. She advocates for population control, because of the negative impact more kids could have on the environment. Guess that makes kids a bit like tofu.